Do Not Click Here
No, I don’t have a post done, I’m busy. I told you not to click, it’s your fault.SMX Social next week. I’ll be there Monday - Thursday. Hit me up on twitter or shoot me an email and we’ll have some Jager. Don’t try to keep up, you’ll regret it.
Yes, those girls are now following me around because I’m paying their salary with the amount of Jager consumed. They also gave me an IV bag so I can just get to the point. See you next week. ありがとう
Friday Tea Time - Failure Edition
I don’t know how you people have time to post 17 times a damn week. In lieu of an actual post, here is to me on writing another blog post. FAIL. Here are some of my favorite FAILS and other stupid things you get in email forwards.
The End. Have A Nice FAIL.
[($ + Money) / Google Hatred] = Rank
Since I don’t have time to post because Sergey Brin and Larry Page decided bring the pain, here is something for your enjoyment from Search Engine Journal:
Debauchery, Douchebaggary, & Drunkenness: Being A Twit
Resistance Is Futile. Now that you’ve been assimilated and you know how to use the twitterborg in just about every way imaginable. Let’s talk about the fun things you can do with the twitter. I think I’ll call it “the twitter” from now one…kind of like “the wife” since it wastes so much time talking about nothing.
Disclaimer: I don’t condone any of these activities, even if I do them. Play at your own risk. If you don’t want people to see what you write, don’t write it. Duh.
Debauchery: A wild gathering involving excessive drinking and promiscuity
There is some actual debauchery that goes on in the twitterborg. One of the few people banned and reinstated by the twitter police (apparently due to so many people blocking him) is a fellow that goes by the handle FoulBastard. He brought the boobies of twitter to Fouly’s Angels.
Another fringe twitter personalitly is alphabitch. She know how to bring the noise.
What other fun trouble can we get into? Here are some ideas.
* Spy on your significant other. My significant other is now following me so she’s discovered I’m infatuated with Sugarrae. See how useful the twitterborg is? (Go and follow her, she’s complaining that no one talks to her).
* Spy on your ex-significant other. I’m not sure what the law actually says, but let’s pretend for a minute this doesn’t fall under the definition of stalking.
* Spy on your employees. This is probably not very ethical, but then again neither am I.
* Lock your profile so you can talk shit about your boss or whomever the hell you want to talk shit about. You can even use curse words. 
* Flirt with strangers. Find the hottest avatars and hit on them. Beware of the backlash this may cause. Also beware of some of them being dudes. Did I mention I have a crush on Sarah East? I AM NOT A STALKER!
* Spy on your enemies. Enough said.
Douchebaggary: Implies the act of engaging in douchebag related activities, acting in accordance with douchebag law, or acting as an accomplice to a person who is widely held to engage regularly in douchebag related activities. When used in this context, the word is often pronounced in an accent similar to that of Sean Connery.
There is also some douchebags on twitter that can get really annoying. So don’t be a douchebag. (I don’t really have anything against Scoble, he’s just an easy target.)
Also, you can follow iJustine, just don’t pretend like you’re friends with her and don’t be surprised when she calls the cops when you show up at her house or something.
Drunkenness: The state of being intoxicated by consumption of alcohol to a degree that mental and physical faculties are noticeably impaired.
BEWARE OF THE DRUNKEN TWITTER! You can say some really idiotic things that may seem inappropriate the next day. It’s like the drunk dial forever implanted on the interwebs. Also when you’re drunk, people can record your drunken falling down ambulance rides.
Twit: A British slang word for an insignificant, foolish or annoying person. The kind of person that makes a retarded chimp look smart.
You are now a twit. There are many useful and sneaky ways to use the twitter and in my opinion it’s the best social network out there at the moment. The items listed above don’t fall in that category. They fall in the “I’m a nutball category”.
If you for some reason got here first, well you’re a fucktard and you should have read these first. It’s a twitter orgy. I hope you don’t need me to define orgy….cause I will. By the way, I did wrrite the enddd of thisss postt a litttle durnekdn. Sweeeeet. The End.
Twitterfox Review From Superman
Review of the Coolest Shit Ever
TwitterTools integrating with Wordpress and Twitter
Twittering and Twitterific - Cause Joost IS totally THE MAN
TwitterBerry - Because We Like To Show Everyone Up With Video
Twitterfeed From A Rock Star
Twitter and TwitBin - Microblogging - Totally Easy
Using Netvibes for SMO
Friday Tea Time - Google Must Be Feeling Lucky
After the disasterous week of Google shoving a toaster up my ass sideways, Google must think it’s “Feeling Lucky”. Well, you feeling lucky, punk?
Oh, but you’ve really pissed me off and I’m coming after you Google. BIG TIME. I don’t know if your immature computer brain can remember what this is, but I’ve got one of these in my basement and I’m unleashing it on you.
Would you like to play a game?
Clickbooth [ALLEGEDLY] Likes To Attack Their Affiliates
Attention affiliate managers of the world: Err on the side of caution and conversation when you screw up. Try and fix the problem instead of attacking the communities that support your company. Slightly Shady SEO went out on a limb and posted the seemingly highly controversial story of Clickbooth and their brigade of lawyers [ALLEGEDLY] throwing around C&D’s and [ALLEGEDLY] suing for emotional distress. Bunch of fucking [ALLEGED] cunt puppies.Go check out the story and Sphinn it, Stumble it, and whatever else it. And hey Sphinn….don’t be like the Chinese government and take it down, it’s [ALLEGEDLY] a legitimate story that should be seen.
