Debauchery, Douchebaggary, & Drunkenness: Being A Twit
Resistance Is Futile. Now that you’ve been assimilated and you know how to use the twitterborg in just about every way imaginable. Let’s talk about the fun things you can do with the twitter. I think I’ll call it “the twitter” from now one…kind of like “the wife” since it wastes so much time talking about nothing.
Disclaimer: I don’t condone any of these activities, even if I do them. Play at your own risk. If you don’t want people to see what you write, don’t write it. Duh.
Debauchery: A wild gathering involving excessive drinking and promiscuity
There is some actual debauchery that goes on in the twitterborg. One of the few people banned and reinstated by the twitter police (apparently due to so many people blocking him) is a fellow that goes by the handle FoulBastard. He brought the boobies of twitter to Fouly’s Angels.
Another fringe twitter personalitly is alphabitch. She know how to bring the noise.
What other fun trouble can we get into? Here are some ideas.
* Spy on your significant other. My significant other is now following me so she’s discovered I’m infatuated with Sugarrae. See how useful the twitterborg is? (Go and follow her, she’s complaining that no one talks to her).
* Spy on your ex-significant other. I’m not sure what the law actually says, but let’s pretend for a minute this doesn’t fall under the definition of stalking.
* Spy on your employees. This is probably not very ethical, but then again neither am I.
* Lock your profile so you can talk shit about your boss or whomever the hell you want to talk shit about. You can even use curse words. 
* Flirt with strangers. Find the hottest avatars and hit on them. Beware of the backlash this may cause. Also beware of some of them being dudes. Did I mention I have a crush on Sarah East? I AM NOT A STALKER!
* Spy on your enemies. Enough said.
Douchebaggary: Implies the act of engaging in douchebag related activities, acting in accordance with douchebag law, or acting as an accomplice to a person who is widely held to engage regularly in douchebag related activities. When used in this context, the word is often pronounced in an accent similar to that of Sean Connery.
There is also some douchebags on twitter that can get really annoying. So don’t be a douchebag. (I don’t really have anything against Scoble, he’s just an easy target.)
Also, you can follow iJustine, just don’t pretend like you’re friends with her and don’t be surprised when she calls the cops when you show up at her house or something.
Drunkenness: The state of being intoxicated by consumption of alcohol to a degree that mental and physical faculties are noticeably impaired.
BEWARE OF THE DRUNKEN TWITTER! You can say some really idiotic things that may seem inappropriate the next day. It’s like the drunk dial forever implanted on the interwebs. Also when you’re drunk, people can record your drunken falling down ambulance rides.
Twit: A British slang word for an insignificant, foolish or annoying person. The kind of person that makes a retarded chimp look smart.
You are now a twit. There are many useful and sneaky ways to use the twitter and in my opinion it’s the best social network out there at the moment. The items listed above don’t fall in that category. They fall in the “I’m a nutball category”.
If you for some reason got here first, well you’re a fucktard and you should have read these first. It’s a twitter orgy. I hope you don’t need me to define orgy….cause I will. By the way, I did wrrite the enddd of thisss postt a litttle durnekdn. Sweeeeet. The End.
Twitterfox Review From Superman
Review of the Coolest Shit Ever
TwitterTools integrating with Wordpress and Twitter
Twittering and Twitterific - Cause Joost IS totally THE MAN
TwitterBerry - Because We Like To Show Everyone Up With Video
Twitterfeed From A Rock Star
Twitter and TwitBin - Microblogging - Totally Easy
Using Netvibes for SMO
- You Might Also Enjoy:
- My Take On Famous SEO Celebrity Nonsense
- 5 Reasons Why You’re A Douchebag
- How To Start Domaining The Right Way
19 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post.
[…] app for BlackBerry and Twitter Twitterfeed Review Twitter and TwitBin - Microblogging Made Easy The Guide to Being a Drunken, Debaucherous Twit Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and […]
Pingback by » » Using Netvibes for your SMO Dixon Jones: Social Networking. Echoes From a Quiet Space. — March 28, 2008 @ 8:00 am
[…] The Guide to Being a Drunken, Debaucherous Twit […]
Pingback by Twittering with Twitterific - Joost de Valk's SEO Blog — March 28, 2008 @ 8:03 am
[…] The Guide to Being a Drunken, Debaucherous Twit […]
Pingback by Review of the ‘Twhirl’ Twitter Client | derekville.net — March 28, 2008 @ 8:19 am
Thank you for the laugh and the mention!
Comment by Using Netvibes for SMO — March 28, 2008 @ 8:26 am
[…] The Guide to Being a Drunken, Debaucherous Twit […]
Pingback by Twitterfeed : Bringing RSS to Twitter for Every Blogger — March 28, 2008 @ 8:48 am
[…] TheMadHat on being a drunken Twit […]
Pingback by Twitter Tools: Integrate Twitter with WordPress | SEOdisco — March 28, 2008 @ 9:35 am
You’ve sold me on Twitter, Aaron. I’d previously dismissed it as a complete and utter waste of my time but having read your post, I’m off to sign up. Forget all that debauchery, douchebaggary and drunkenness, now that I know that Sarah East is on there nothing could stop me.
You might not be a stalker. I am.
Comment by Mike — March 28, 2008 @ 4:11 pm
Good work Mike, your stalking of Sarah East will throw the authorities off my tail
Comment by TheMadHat — March 28, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
Fucktard.
Still my favorite word. Why?
If you really dont know, then you are probably……
Yep, you’re a Fucktard!
BTW, Great use of “The Twitter” last night.
Comment by Landon — March 28, 2008 @ 8:04 pm
Good ideas. The most funny thing I have seen on twitter so far was a tinyurl link that pointed to a link that would make you unfollow everyone you are currently following
Comment by Malte — March 31, 2008 @ 10:39 am
lmao…that would be annoying.
Comment by TheMadHat — March 31, 2008 @ 10:41 am
My stomic almost pump up I laugh like a little horce out the field it was fun
Comment by Samanta — April 8, 2008 @ 11:24 am
[…] - Twitterfox Review - Review of the Twhirl Twitter Client - Using Netvibes as a Client for Twitter - Review of TwitterTools to integrate Wordpress and Twitter - Twittering and Twitterific - A Review - Twitterfeed Review - Twitter and TwitBin - Microblogging Made Easy - and for fun: The Guide to Being a Drunken, Debaucherous Twit […]
Pingback by Complete Guide to TwitterBerry, the BlackBerry app for Twitter | BB Geeks — May 8, 2008 @ 12:44 pm
Fucktard. Wow.
You just replaced my three previous favorites:
Fucknutz
Asswipe
Assclown (thanks Office Space)
I just couldn’t bring myself to sign up for Twitter, but ok, I’ll give it a try.
Banner Boy
Comment by Banner Boy — May 14, 2008 @ 3:25 am
[…] TheMadHat on existence a drunken Twit […]
Pingback by How To Get Your Subscribers Begging For More · SEO Marketing Tips - Tricks, Techniques & Secrets — May 19, 2008 @ 6:42 am
[…] TheMadHat on existence a drunken Twit […]
Pingback by Synergize Your Twitter Account And Your WordPress Blog With Twitter Tools · SEO Marketing Tips - Tricks, Techniques & Secrets — May 19, 2008 @ 8:26 am
[…] TheMadHat on existence a drunken Twit […]
Pingback by Get to Know SEO Consultant Adam Moro · SEO Marketing Tips - Tricks, Techniques & Secrets — May 19, 2008 @ 8:50 am
[…] TheMadHat on existence a drunken Twit […]
Pingback by SEO-Guide.net - Start 2008 Right: Internet Marketing Ninja Style · SEO Guide - Tips, Tricks and Secrets — May 21, 2008 @ 1:26 pm
[…] TheMadHat on existence a drunken Twit […]
Pingback by Top Wuss Rock Bands of All Time (SEO-Guide.net) · SEO Guide - Tips, Tricks and Secrets — May 21, 2008 @ 5:11 pm