Has anyone noticed that all my posts lately are filed under the retarded category? Well that’s because you are. So Sugarrae Fanboy and I were sitting around not seeing any twits from Rae so we had to find something else to do. Our plan? An actual SEO post. Well sort of. Streko drunkenly stumbled upon TextBroker.com. We had not heard of this network of so called quality writers before so we checked it out and exclaimed “Jesus on a pogo stick, we get a free trial!”
Here is the summary of their “product”:
Quality Level – Price per 100 Words
2 – good – $1.00
3 – very good – $1.40
4 – excellent – $2.00
5 – professional – $6.70
Okay, I don’t know why there isn’t a “1 – mediocre” but that’s a non-issue. I clicked on their “sample article” for each level of service, and found typos and errors in all of them, which obviously didn’t give them any points. But whatever. Can’t pass up on free content. Free beer is actually more preferable, but free content is fun too.
So Streko went out and recruited Melanie Phung from All About Content, Sugarrae who is too busy to play juvenile games with us and probably has a restraining order against Streko by now anyway, and SEOHack who probably got drunk before he could submit because I’m a terrible role model. In other words, we did three submissions. I did SEO just to keep this somewhat on topic. Here is what I got back (in less that 12 hours, so quick turnaround):
The Basics Of Search Engine Optimization
In order to be pulled up on the internet you have to be found and that is the basic idea of search engine optimization. What you are trying to do is get to the top of the list of other similar items on the net so that your article will be seen first when someone is searching for the topic that you have written about.
In order to get the most out of the search engine optimization you need to use a lot of keywords that other people will be searching for. When you understand keywords you will use them in your article several times so that it will pull when people are typing it into the search engine. Be sure that you use common keywords that people will be searching for when they are on the net. You don’t want to use a lot of fancier words. Most people search for simple items and use normal every day words. Doing this will help you to get pulled quicker when people are searching on the net.
The basics of search engine optimization are easy. As you learn more and more about the basics of search engine optimization your articles or websites will quickly become more accessible to more and more surfers.
Fuckin-A we have the secret. “You don’t want to use a lot of fancier words.” because “doing this will help you to get pulled quicker…”. Okay, we knew this one would suck ass anyway, so Streko comes up with a good topic.
How to Ask Your Wife If She Would Be Interested in Polygamy
While polygamy may be frowned upon by most people who are unfamiliar with the lifestyle, it can actually offer many benefits for those who choose to practice it. If you are a married man who is interested in joining this lifestyle, but are unsure how to talk to your wife about it, here are some tips to get you started.
1. Tell her about the benefits of a polygamist lifestyle – This lifestyle has many benefits, the most important of which is that it is very family and community oriented. If you live in a polygamist community, your children are likely to grow up in a sheltered environment and avoid many of society’s ills.
2. Visit a polygamist family – If you know someone in the lifestyle, take your wife for a visit so that she can see a polygamist family in their day-to-day settings. This will help show her that it is truly about family, not just about sex.
3. Ask her why she has reservations – Listening to her side is probably the best thing you can do, plus you can counter each one of her negatives with a positive benefit. With a woman, talking is always one of the best solutions to any problem.
4. Know your wife’s personality – The type of woman who may be willing to join this type of lifestyle is one who is very family oriented and has a submissive streak. If your wife prefers to drop the kids off with her parents and is very opinionated and not afraid to show it, then this might be a tough sell for you.
Hey, did you know that “With a woman, talking is always one of the best solutions to any problem.” First of all, I thought for sure this wouldn’t get approved because it’s against the law and a little creepy, but I guess whatever floats your boat. Be sure that your wife is “very family oriented and has a submissive streak” though. Melanie was next:
How to arrange a funeral at sea
If someone that you know has passed away and you know that they desired a funeral at sea, don’t worry you will be able to make arrangements and have their wishes completed. There are various charters and boats that will arrange the details for you. You can search on the internet to find the ones that you can afford. Burials at sea vary in prices, so be sure to take a look at the different packages that are offered. You want to find one that will fit your budget.
If you cannot afford to purchase the complete service at sea, then you might want to enlist a boat to take you out for a couple of hours just to throw the ashes. This can be somewhat less expensive and you will still be accomplishing the deceased’s wishes.
When you need to find out answers quickly, you might want to travel to the area that they wished to be buried at sea. There you can contact the Visitor’s Center and have them set up the arrangements for a burial at sea. They will know who to contact and how to make arrangements for the service. Be sure that you have the money to cover the cost of the service.
Hmmmmm. “…enlist a boat to take you out for a couple of hours just to throw the ashes.” I don’t know about the laws on that one but at least give me something from the evil Wikipedia. Wait, does anyone have a Polygamy Knol yet? SEOHack had the best topic, but it wasn’t going to get through anyway. “2 Girls 1 Cup Poop Porn”.
Summary: Not worth a shit for actual content. However, that being said we can certainly use this for some nefarious things. It’s scanned for copyright violations so it’s original content. It’s perfect for creating multiple versions of each and getting a Datapresser account and creating a bunch of madlib scripts for the network of blogs that you own.