Debauchery, Douchebaggary, & Drunkenness: Being A Twit
Resistance Is Futile. Now that you’ve been assimilated and you know how to use the twitterborg in just about every way imaginable. Let’s talk about the fun things you can do with the twitter. I think I’ll call it “the twitter” from now one…kind of like “the wife” since it wastes so much time talking about nothing.
Disclaimer: I don’t condone any of these activities, even if I do them. Play at your own risk. If you don’t want people to see what you write, don’t write it. Duh.
Debauchery: A wild gathering involving excessive drinking and promiscuity
There is some actual debauchery that goes on in the twitterborg. One of the few people banned and reinstated by the twitter police (apparently due to so many people blocking him) is a fellow that goes by the handle FoulBastard. He brought the boobies of twitter to Fouly’s Angels.
Another fringe twitter personalitly is alphabitch. She know how to bring the noise.
What other fun trouble can we get into? Here are some ideas.
* Spy on your significant other. My significant other is now following me so she’s discovered I’m infatuated with Sugarrae. See how useful the twitterborg is? (Go and follow her, she’s complaining that no one talks to her).
* Spy on your ex-significant other. I’m not sure what the law actually says, but let’s pretend for a minute this doesn’t fall under the definition of stalking.
* Spy on your employees. This is probably not very ethical, but then again neither am I.
* Lock your profile so you can talk shit about your boss or whomever the hell you want to talk shit about. You can even use curse words. 
* Flirt with strangers. Find the hottest avatars and hit on them. Beware of the backlash this may cause. Also beware of some of them being dudes. Did I mention I have a crush on Sarah East? I AM NOT A STALKER!
* Spy on your enemies. Enough said.
Douchebaggary: Implies the act of engaging in douchebag related activities, acting in accordance with douchebag law, or acting as an accomplice to a person who is widely held to engage regularly in douchebag related activities. When used in this context, the word is often pronounced in an accent similar to that of Sean Connery.
There is also some douchebags on twitter that can get really annoying. So don’t be a douchebag. (I don’t really have anything against Scoble, he’s just an easy target.)
Also, you can follow iJustine, just don’t pretend like you’re friends with her and don’t be surprised when she calls the cops when you show up at her house or something.
Drunkenness: The state of being intoxicated by consumption of alcohol to a degree that mental and physical faculties are noticeably impaired.
BEWARE OF THE DRUNKEN TWITTER! You can say some really idiotic things that may seem inappropriate the next day. It’s like the drunk dial forever implanted on the interwebs. Also when you’re drunk, people can record your drunken falling down ambulance rides.
Twit: A British slang word for an insignificant, foolish or annoying person. The kind of person that makes a retarded chimp look smart.
You are now a twit. There are many useful and sneaky ways to use the twitter and in my opinion it’s the best social network out there at the moment. The items listed above don’t fall in that category. They fall in the “I’m a nutball category”.
If you for some reason got here first, well you’re a fucktard and you should have read these first. It’s a twitter orgy. I hope you don’t need me to define orgy….cause I will. By the way, I did wrrite the enddd of thisss postt a litttle durnekdn. Sweeeeet. The End.
Twitterfox Review From Superman
Review of the Coolest Shit Ever
TwitterTools integrating with Wordpress and Twitter
Twittering and Twitterific - Cause Joost IS totally THE MAN
TwitterBerry - Because We Like To Show Everyone Up With Video
Twitterfeed From A Rock Star
Twitter and TwitBin - Microblogging - Totally Easy
Using Netvibes for SMO
Friday Tea Time - Google Must Be Feeling Lucky
After the disasterous week of Google shoving a toaster up my ass sideways, Google must think it’s “Feeling Lucky”. Well, you feeling lucky, punk?
Oh, but you’ve really pissed me off and I’m coming after you Google. BIG TIME. I don’t know if your immature computer brain can remember what this is, but I’ve got one of these in my basement and I’m unleashing it on you.
Would you like to play a game?
Clickbooth [ALLEGEDLY] Likes To Attack Their Affiliates
Attention affiliate managers of the world: Err on the side of caution and conversation when you screw up. Try and fix the problem instead of attacking the communities that support your company. Slightly Shady SEO went out on a limb and posted the seemingly highly controversial story of Clickbooth and their brigade of lawyers [ALLEGEDLY] throwing around C&D’s and [ALLEGEDLY] suing for emotional distress. Bunch of fucking [ALLEGED] cunt puppies.Go check out the story and Sphinn it, Stumble it, and whatever else it. And hey Sphinn….don’t be like the Chinese government and take it down, it’s [ALLEGEDLY] a legitimate story that should be seen.
Friday Tea Time - Rant Edition
I know, I haven’t done Tea Time in a few weeks. Go fly a kite, I’m busy doing stuff. In order to keep all my greedy readers happy, this Friday is dedicated to the rants and controversial posts of the past week or so. Did you know that the shortest war in history was between Great Britain and Zanzibar in 1896. The Brits took 38 minutes to scare Zanzibar into surrendering. WTF? What the hell am I talking about.
* Let’s start with SEO for the homeless from Wingnut. Politically correct? Not. Relevant to SEO? Certainly. You gotta use linkbait on those cardboard signs. What’s gonna get you more coin: “Need money for food” or “Aliens abducted my dog, need money for ransom”. I don’t know about you but I’ve seen a lot of the first, kinda like I’ve seen the same shitty affiliate site quite a few times. Homeless people have to stand out too. Dave got a bit of crap from this over on that sainthood social group. Come off it you wankers! (I’m going Brit today since they can kick some Zanzibar ass).
* It wouldn’t be a rant (i almost published this when that said rand…that would have been funny) edition without including the newly introduced profanity of the month. Bloody hell. Following that up is a note to all online daters…don’t be a cockwaffle.
* Google Reviewer Guidelines are in the wild. I have a copy and it has some interesting and very useful stuff in it. Thanks to BlackHat und GreyHat Zeug for the hookup. If you want to check out the full copy for yourself, go sign up for the SEO Black Hat Members Only Forum…you’ll find it there along with mucho amounts of useful goodies.
* Fucking Microsoft. I’ve wondered for quite a while why anything with a high number of threads is slow ass hell. Everyone in this thread is 50 times smarter than me so I’m glad they’re around to show me how to do this stuff. And Microsoft can suck balls. There are plenty of legit reasons to run multiple connections. Wankers. But we already know they’re a little slow.
* Are you mad? If not you suck and you’re probably already letting Google steal your big screen.
* < pause in ranting > I really dig this site. He’s been around for six months or so but I get loads of info..and it’s time for a new design for this blog. Right? So check out Hack WordPress.
* In the tradition of my thoughts on SEO celebrity wankers, Neil Patel gets a thumbs up for helping out the little guy. Thumbs up to you! You know where the rest of you big shots can go.
* Here’s an ASW rant, just cause it has rant in the title. And it’s a valid point for all you affiliate sales fuckers.
* Hey AdSense, you can blow me. Now they want a privacy policy for everything along with the fifty other things they won’t let you do. I’ll be clicking the agree button on May 14th, then still not doing what they say. Ban me? Ooooohhhh. Who runs AdSense anyway…unless it’s MFA you can do better with something else. Like affiliate programs you find through Affspy (PS: I’m waiting on my invite!)
* Domainers are getting attacked. First with this crap anti-phishing bill that gives the big guys too much clout. On top of that, Google is allowing advertisers to opt out of parked domain ads. Good for advertisers at the moment since the parking companies aren’t that sophisticated yet and bad for the domainer who has too many domains to manually set up each and every one. That could be a whole post.
* I like twitter, but the waiting-at-the-airport-twitter? He has a point.
* One of my favorite blogs, I think I’ll have to disagree with. Halfdeck <3's Shari Thurow and says he agrees with her post that was pulled out of an elephants ass. Which confuses me because at the end he says nofollow shouldn’t be the first thing on the list. Well duh. Sorry man, anyone that agrees with that post gets the 1 day silent treatment 
Okay, so that wasn’t quite a full on rant, but gimme a break, these posts take forever. So this Friday, do a little ranting, drink some beers, buy Lisa some new $200 shoes (pink please) before she kills someone or sends her personal assassin out on a hit, and then drink some more beers. Cheerio! (Is that what they say over across the pond? I can’t remember)
Find Your Way To Blackberry Nirvana
I’m somewhat of a huge Blackberry fan. I’ll pass on the child-toy iPhone. It’s all fun until you try and do something useful with it other than scroll pictures around on your screen like a 12 year old. I’ve been using a blackberry for around 5 years starting with the old ass “didn’t even have color” kind and recently migrated to the Pearl 8130 on the stellar advice of my favorite Blackberry blog BBGeeks.com.
If you own a Blackberry, or are intelligently thinking about buying one over a stupid apple thing, then BB Geeks is a must-have resource. They’ve got a huge resource of Blackberry Apps, lots of reviews on Blackberry providers, and along with their frequent tips and tools via their blog they even have a BB Geeks twitter feed.
For example, today they saved me the daily routine of deleting emails from my Gmail account that I have already seen on my blackberry. Without their comparison on pushing your email vs the Blackberry Gmail application I would have forever been wasting time. Thanks friends! Keep telling my stupid ass how to use this thing!
Be sure to go check out their Blackberry store where you can find just about any Blackberry software and accessories that exists. And for the sake of all mankind, if you need one more reason not to get an iPhone, here you go:
Impulse Domain Lookup Tool
You know when you’re at the store standing in line and they give you all those enticing items like Big Red and Energizer batteries? We all know what they are, but sometimes we can’t help ourselves. So I wanted to throw this out there real quick so everyone knows about it. And since everyone ON THE PLANET reads this blog, then mission accomplished.I’ve been beta testing a Domain Lookup Firefox extension from Richard Kershaw at Quality Nonsense. I renamed it the “Impulse Domain Lookup Tool”. Say you’re reading a story in the CNN technology section on wireless earphones and decide you want to check real quick to see if wirelessearbuds.com is available. All it takes is a right click or keyboard shortcut to open a new window and query the registrar of your choice.
Piece of cake people. By the way impulsedomain.com is still available so act now!
