Friday Tea Time – Rant Edition

by TheMadHat on March 14, 2008

I know, I haven’t done Tea Time in a few weeks. Go fly a kite, I’m busy doing stuff. In order to keep all my greedy readers happy, this Friday is dedicated to the rants and controversial posts of the past week or so. Did you know that the shortest war in history was between Great Britain and Zanzibar in 1896. The Brits took 38 minutes to scare Zanzibar into surrendering. WTF? What the hell am I talking about.

Wanker* Let’s start with SEO for the homeless from Wingnut. Politically correct? Not. Relevant to SEO? Certainly. You gotta use linkbait on those cardboard signs. What’s gonna get you more coin: “Need money for food” or “Aliens abducted my dog, need money for ransom”. I don’t know about you but I’ve seen a lot of the first, kinda like I’ve seen the same shitty affiliate site quite a few times. Homeless people have to stand out too. Dave got a bit of crap from this over on that sainthood social group. Come off it you wankers! (I’m going Brit today since they can kick some Zanzibar ass).

* It wouldn’t be a rant (i almost published this when that said rand…that would have been funny) edition without including the newly introduced profanity of the month. Bloody hell. Following that up is a note to all online daters…don’t be a cockwaffle.

* Google Reviewer Guidelines are in the wild. I have a copy and it has some interesting and very useful stuff in it. Thanks to BlackHat und GreyHat Zeug for the hookup. If you want to check out the full copy for yourself, go sign up for the SEO Black Hat Members Only Forum…you’ll find it there along with mucho amounts of useful goodies.

* Fucking Microsoft. I’ve wondered for quite a while why anything with a high number of threads is slow ass hell. Everyone in this thread is 50 times smarter than me so I’m glad they’re around to show me how to do this stuff. And Microsoft can suck balls. There are plenty of legit reasons to run multiple connections. Wankers. But we already know they’re a little slow.

I'm A Fucking Mad Hat* Are you mad? If not you suck and you’re probably already letting Google steal your big screen.

* < pause in ranting > I really dig this site. He’s been around for six months or so but I get loads of info..and it’s time for a new design for this blog. Right? So check out Hack WordPress.

* In the tradition of my thoughts on SEO celebrity wankers, Neil Patel gets a thumbs up for helping out the little guy. Thumbs up to you! You know where the rest of you big shots can go.

* Here’s an ASW rant, just cause it has rant in the title. And it’s a valid point for all you affiliate sales fuckers.

* Hey AdSense, you can blow me. Now they want a privacy policy for everything along with the fifty other things they won’t let you do. I’ll be clicking the agree button on May 14th, then still not doing what they say. Ban me? Ooooohhhh. Who runs AdSense anyway…unless it’s MFA you can do better with something else. Like affiliate programs you find through Affspy (PS: I’m waiting on my invite!)

* Domainers are getting attacked. First with this crap anti-phishing bill that gives the big guys too much clout. On top of that, Google is allowing advertisers to opt out of parked domain ads. Good for advertisers at the moment since the parking companies aren’t that sophisticated yet and bad for the domainer who has too many domains to manually set up each and every one. That could be a whole post.

* I like twitter, but the waiting-at-the-airport-twitter? He has a point.

* One of my favorite blogs, I think I’ll have to disagree with. Halfdeck <3's Shari Thurow and says he agrees with her post that was pulled out of an elephants ass. Which confuses me because at the end he says nofollow shouldn’t be the first thing on the list. Well duh. Sorry man, anyone that agrees with that post gets the 1 day silent treatment ;)

Okay, so that wasn’t quite a full on rant, but gimme a break, these posts take forever. So this Friday, do a little ranting, drink some beers, buy Lisa some new $200 shoes (pink please) before she kills someone or sends her personal assassin out on a hit, and then drink some more beers. Cheerio! (Is that what they say over across the pond? I can’t remember)

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{ 7 comments }

Rae March 14, 2008 at 8:49 am

Hahahahahahahaha….

Eric Lander March 14, 2008 at 8:56 am

seriously wonderful recap — and regrettably, i never would’ve found it if not for rae’s tweet. subscription: added.

TheMadHat March 14, 2008 at 8:59 am

@Eric – Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the sub!

@Rae – Your inner assassin is just waiting to come out ;)

marc March 14, 2008 at 9:03 am

ah… math problems so early in the morning. nuts!

here because of Rae’s tweet… thought I’d chime in too. Power of social media, high click-through’s from trusted social graph, yadda, yadda, yadda.

TheMadHat March 14, 2008 at 9:07 am

Hey dogballs, looks like I owe Rae a beer or twelve. Thanks for swinging by!

alphabitch (aka. mivox) March 14, 2008 at 4:36 pm

I don’t think we even have a proper equivalent for “Cheerio” in the US … damn us and our sub-par slang!

Rae March 14, 2008 at 8:28 pm

Beer.. fuck that, I want lap dances :P

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