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Viva Las Vegas. In a drunken spur of the moment decision Wednesday I’m heading to Vegas tonight and will be there until Sunday night. So if any of you nutjobs will be at Affiliate Summit early shoot me an email or twit me a tweet and we can hook up for some Jager shots and beers.

* Let’s start off with some sneaky sneaky. Continue your blackhat education wth 5ubliminal with Web Scraping 101. He does the world a service by getting you started but not giving everything away. That way you lazy bastards actually have to learn it. And he has the best RSS button ever.

* After you’ve learned the basics of scraping don’t forget to avoid leaving footprints and if you want a domainers angle check out Black Hat Domainers take on a newly released patent on stop words.

* Mike explains a completely whitehat method of keeping track of your links for your completely [not] whitehat link dumping linkbuilding activites. He’s gives us great examples of looking at things from high view…subscribe to his feed now before it’s too late.

* DVD Jon makes the world a safer place again. God bless the rebellion.

* It was a full week of Guestwhores since Sugarrae went and played in the sun. You can see my 37 days of debauchery with Scooby Doo.

* Scrape the search funnels from AdLabs. Haven’t tried it yet, but could be really useful in automating keyword lists.

* Brian has a good SEO for Drupal tutorial up. I’ve got a project I’m thinking about starting that will need something more robust than wordpress and it will be my first Drupal showing so thanks for the tips…because SEO is like poker

* Since He is so famous, I must link to please the overlord.

* Jon posted about DoshDosh sphinning a post at Problogger on kicking StumbleAss. Was that confusing? In other words, don’t stumble this post.

* Bitches. Just because I hadn’t used any fucking bad words yet.

* Interweb Gold: 10 Things Every Adult Should Know (NSFW as if anything in this category ever is). And to follow up on #3…Stuff White People Like.

That’s it for Vegas Friday. I should be hammered by 9pm…which is our arrival time in Vegas. I think we have enough drink tickets to buy the entire plane beers the whole way. Again, if anyone will be there tomorrow, let me know and I’ll furnish the shots. Out.

The Friday Tea Time is back this week in full force. No playtime and no holds barred tea party. Anyway, it’s been a couple weeks so I may be a little rusty but here we go anyway.

* Eric Ward does know a few things. I figured I’d get that out of the way first. Sugarrae takes 11 smart people and writes a thesis on link development. If you’ve been doing SEO for 3 days or 10 years you need to read this post and take notes. Skip Days of Our Lives today and read this instead.

* My new favorite blogger, who’s probably younger than you: Anchor text shuffler for your link bombing box. A non-shady post on what to do if your rankings crash. And finally for you wanna be black belts: Basics of content generation and your 1st blackhat setup. Matt Cutts hates you my friend.

* I’m an Asstard. You probably are too.

* If for some reason this post was the first thing you looked at this morning…everyone including Aaron Wall reported this morning that Microsoft is buying Yahoo. Or trying to anyway. I guess Bill decided if you can’t beat them, buy them.

* Problogger has a nice post on how to effectively use twitter. Personally I am a big fan of twitter. It can be a useful tool in networking and even driving traffic to your blog. It can also be an incredible time drain. Bunch of twits.

* Speed up Wordpress. Since Wordpress is like a giant slug, here is some info on tricking out your blog. Quick and easy instructions for those of us partially brain damaged from too many head injuries.

* Jon over at Raven SEO shows us a cool implementation of the MyBlogLog API. Here is my Raven member page. I can see many cool things that could be done with that.

* Richard over at Quality Nonsense explains why you should let bloggers build your brand. Very few executive types know this and continue to pay PR firms thousands of dollars for nothing. It’s a powerful technique that is completely underutilized.

* Funny shit from cracked. (beware of automatic video…I hate that shit).

* Nic n’ Cher break down the pros and cons of a CMS system while Brian takes a look at Wordpress vs Drupal.

* BoogyBonBon has 5 common SEO mistakes. Not sure I agree with all of them but it’s an interesting perspective.

* As always great stuff from John Andrews. His take on offensive and defensive SEO (aka: being a dirty bastard) is a must read. I’ve also been into the domaining space for a bit now and can start posting a little more about it. John discusses domain development and liquidity. Newest panhandler sign: “Will SEO For Equity”.

* Ready to peddle some porn? Good luck.

* Aaron Wall is at it once again outlining how to successfully rank an affiliate site. Solid information as always.

* Every now and then I’ll remind everyone to think about the mobile web. Well, look at this bit of information. ESPN gets more mobile traffic than regular traffic. I told you so.

* Googlebomb has died. Pffft. Crazy Cults. More importantly, we get a lesson on N-Grams and why most content generators are bunk…or soon will be.

* Datapresser is out so get on the waiting list. I’ll be doing a full review of it as soon as I have time to fully get some blogs up and running. I can go ahead and tell you though it’s easily going to make you the monthly cost and it’s easy to use. Props to rob!

* Interweb Gold: Thanks to Graywolf for pointing out this golden palace of ranting: iPhone Movies Rule It.

Happy Friday Fellow Fuckers. Have a wonderful day, eat your Wheaties, and don’t forget the beer.

I used to trust the media to tell me the truth, tell us the truth. But now I’ve seen the payoffs everywhere I look. Who do you trust when everyone’s a crook?

There are my thoughts today. Tea Time…

* BIG BROTHER!! BIG BROTHER!! Bill Gates please fuck the hell off. Where is Orwell? He’s turning over in his grave saying “I told you so”. Let’s give thanks to Bill for spotting this stuff so we can try and stop it before it materializes (like we can actually stop Bill Gates from doing anything).

* Vanessa a twitter fan and so am I. Yesterday I bought a kick ass Sony HDR-SR5 HD Digital Camcorder. I asked my twitter friends and within an hour I had multiple recommendations. Thanks to Rhea and Sugarrae for their input.

* Speaking of whom…FUCK OFF WANNABE JACKOFF SEO CELEBS! I hope no one thinks that’s what I’m trying to be. I write on this blog because it keeps me sharp on a lot of topics. Analyzing and testing things then putting them in words gives me a deeper understanding of search. It also gives me a chance to meet people I otherwise probably would not have (new friends I didn’t know existed, new friends I know of but hadn’t met, etc). I generally don’t post pictures of me for a reason; I can pick my friends. Frankly, I don’t really like people in general. I’m a little abrasive

* Back to speaking of twitter, go give twitter the crunchies vote in the mobile category, it’s a no-brainer. I also voted for them in the overall category. It was a tough pick between them and Zillow. Zillow is way ahead of the game in the real estate market, but I don’t really use it and I use twitter every day so they got my vote.

* This is old, but what the fuck is this? I don’t want to get into an argument with anyone again…so if you believe that post stop reading this blog. Unsubscribe. Go away. Here are a couple excerpts:

In which case, example.com/white-birds-on-bushes.html has as much chance to rank for “white birds on bushes” as “whitebirdsonbushes.com” or “white-birds-on-bushes.com”.

“They can help your SEO but page names will have a greater impact in the long run than domain names.”

Any blackhats want to chime in on that? I agree a brandable domain name should be put ahead of a keyword domain name in some cases, but saying that it doesn’t help your rankings is dumb. Sure, you need more than just the domain name and an exact match keyword domain isn’t necessary, but come on. I guess every other SEO that certainly knows what they’re doing is wrong and the forty examples I could show are there by magic “unique content” optimization. There is some great stuff on his blog but sometimes I’m really shocked by the inaccuracies (that’s not to say I don’t make any and feel free to call me out; these are the opinions of my not so humble self).

* Collin LaHay of Mixed Market Arts threw out a linkbait post on 10 reasons why this post will hit digg. I dugg it and figured it would get buried pretty quickly simply for being a digg post. I was slightly wrong. 5391 diggs and 71,000 visits.

* A great post from Matt McGee on the SEO Success Pyramid. It all boils down to trust, but there are a myriad of ways to get there. Nice job.

* Someone shoot this douchebag.

* Think blackhat is dead? Whatever. Shady SEO again this week busting them out. Blackhat profits and I’d say those numbers are conservative. (PS: .99 cent .info on sale at Dotster. I grabbed 300 this week.)

* Lazy webmasters unite and continue to waste the time of millions.

* Graywolf reminds us to use stats and goal tracking on our blogs just like on our sites. This is important for measuring ROI (in whatever form that may be…each blog will have different success metrics). It’s something I need to do on some of my blogs (not on this blog, who gives a shit about something that doesn’t increase my piggy bank).

* Interweb Gold: I am totally a psychopath.

Cheers to all, drink heavily this weekend, and that’s another Friday morning wasted writing this post!

Greetings. It’s been an interesting week in wonderland. Lots of people mad thinking I’m full of it, and some people in agreement. Oh well, time to move on to some new topics. Between the Google spanking, twitter, and the comment storm my fingers are hurting. Wish there was more time in the day, so many ideas and no time. Moving on to the posts that were written by the folks who took the red pill and went down the rabbit hole.

* Andy summed up the GoogleBorg reader no opt-out. 1984 anyone? What happens when Freddy Kruger tracks me down via Google profiles? If I’m not sliced in half I’m suing.

* Moving on from scary to shady…I recently discovered the Slightly Shady SEO blog and he’s been pumping out great shit. Just this week we have slipping new sites past Matt Cutts and using anchor text like you’re supposed to. The anchor text post was great. I’ve been using those techniques for a long time but he put it in writing very effectively. The whole ’split ratio’ really depends on the niche so as always, test it all. Keep it coming.

* Curl2 is out. Huzzah…time to play! Wish I was a bit better at coding than I am. Takes me a lot of screwing around to get anything to work. I guess that’s how it’s learned though.

* Buying hosted content pages yet? Then you’re behind. Listen to the Guru. Then listen to Part II. Say goodbye to all the text link brokers unless they wizen up. And don’t make Google look stupid…or any of their friends.

* Eric is plotting his revenge. Crap.

* Hey Google…I’m sick of your fucked up shit. I don’t rank for my blog name but all is finally as it should be in the monkey balls niche. Wow…Google has a magic algorithm doesn’t it. I don’t need your damn traffic anyway (just kidding all mighty king…please put me back and I will sacrifice douchbag SEO’s in your honor!)

* Have any of you domainers seen DotSauce yet? I ran into them a couple days ago and they look to be off to a solid start. If anyone’s in their premium program, please leave some feedback as I’m interested in it.

* Web 2.0 who what? Lisa explains why just building it doesn’t mean they’ll come…or even know you. Nice work.

* I’ve been in the Hullu beta stage for a few weeks and I can tell you that it rocks monkey balls. Good news for you…they’ve opened up….well they opened it up for like an hour. It’s gone again. Keep an eye out for next time.

* If you’ve got like 10 minutes to waste: Judge Judy puts the gavel up an eBay scammers ass.

* Since everyone reading this is a huge geek, here we have Star Wars link building. I’d put myself as a cross between Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker…which doesn’t make much sense but whatever.

* Check out this social media crybaby whining about SEO. Well, I guess he’s just crying about stupid SEO’s that don’t know what they’re doing. What this guy doesn’t realize is most of what he diggs is probably from an SEO.

* Here’s everything you need to know about reputation management all in one place. Bookmark and save yourself down the line.

* If you’re still reading, here are your rewards. A PHP text blender (remember that anchor text post from above), and from this dude I don’t even know the linkdump download. It will save you some time if you can figure it all out.

* Interweb Gold: Stuff On My Cat (spotted via a twitter from Dave Winget of Wingnut SEO)

Adios Muchachos, Merry X-Mas, Festivus for the rest of us!

I blame quite a few people for this, but it took me about 30 minutes to type this sentence. Really glad to meet everyone and can’t wait for next time! The end…I now have 3 hours before I have to be at the airport…. Pucon was well worth it tenfold and I’ll have a recap next week when I can see without the swervy letters

** Edit: That word was PUBCON ** (shut it)