I got home this evening and was shocked to see a big empty space where my refrigerator once stood. Google has punished me once again and banned my refrigerator. I just can’t catch any breaks at all. I wasn’t doing anything shady with my refrigerator. All my inbound grocery items were naturally grown using organic products. I only paid for a few editorially tasted snack products. I did not have any stuffing, as that was outlawed back in the 90′s and Thanksgiving has never been the same.
I don’t keep any Viagra or poker chips inside this completely white refrigerator. I just didn’t know what the hell was happening! To illustrate, here is a closeup of my refrigerator prior to the ban:
So I started digging around in the pictures of my
ranking reports grocery lists that I keep and much to my surprise I found something stuck way down on the bottom shelf. Upon further inspection, I realized that some food items that were placed there by my refrigeration optimizer that I had no idea about. See for yourselves:
What shall I do??? Matt, is there somewhere I can file a refrigerator reinclusion request? Please…I beg of you. I had no idea those shady grocers were putting those items in there. They were stuck behind the giant balls of lettuce and pickled monkey balls!
If all this fails, (which it usually does when it comes to refrigerator reinclusion requests) I guess I’ll have to get The King of Poker Dan Perry to save the day! Then I’ll send under the radar organically grown food to my friends Tamar The Schwag Addict, Best SEO Blog Barry, and Mr Small Business SEM McGee on a frequent basis.
I don’t know how much longer I can make it without a refrigerator guys!!!!
*** UPDATE: I realized in my restless sleep that I didn’t actually outline my plan for what I do when I win the Google refrigerator. First, I’ll internally categorize all my food groups to insure proper FoodRank flow. I will post a map of what and where each item of food is so all my drunken friends will know where to look, and to make sure no SPAM shows up again. I won’t hire “Refrigerator Power” to optimize anymore. Finally, I’ll pop open a nice cold beer to toast all my friends on the interwebs!