From the category archives:

Buzz/Viral

5 Reasons Why You’re A Douchebag

by TheMadHat on April 13, 2007

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I hate top 10 lists. I know they can be a great summary of information and the titles are sure to bring in some traffic (like you, just now). However, I find in about half the cases they are either geared for people trying to make digg or they just suck. Unbelievably, I found this on the front page of Yahoo highlighted as a main story. I’ve had personal experience pricing Yahoo Marketplace links and I know how incredibly expensive they are and also how much traffic a front page link will bring. These prime real estate spots exist so you can find out how to pick up women. First let’s just make fun of the list:

1. She has a great dog, so you pet the dog and ask, “What’s your dog’s name?” Obviously she will tell you, to which you can comment on how sweet the dog is and the conversation should naturally unfold.

2. You’re in a café and she has a newspaper. You can ask, “Do you mind if I read that section when you’re done?” When she gives it to you, ask, “Anything exciting I should read first?”

3. On an airplane, ask to borrow a pen. If you’re feeling really courageous, once you’ve got her pen, shake her hand and say very seriously, “Nice to meet you, I’m ranked #2 among America’s Most Wanted Pen Thieves. Ever seen it?” Sure it’s kinda cheesy, but it’s also the kind of off-the-wall thing women love.

4. At a diner, ask her if you can borrow the salt from her table. When she gives it to you, say, “Thanks, I saw you eyeballing it so I thought I’d help out by removing the temptation for you. Salt is very bad for you, ya know,” as you proceed to douse your own food with it — another one that’s sure to get some laughs.

5. In a bank line, you can even use the lack of customer service on the part of the tellers as a prop. Why? Because it gives you something to talk about — that’s exactly what props are for.

Okay…so the dog one has a chance. But let’s take a look at #3. “I’m ranked on America’s Most Wanted Pen Thieves”. Are you kidding me?? I’d rather shoot myself in the face.

I’m going to skip all the rest and get to the point. The article, which is on the front page of Yahoo and has been since last night, links to his “date coaching” store found at http://www.attractandapproach.com/. What do we see when we hit the site?

I am a DOUCHEBAG!

Any idea how much revenue this guy is wasting? Who cares if your site was a little crappy before. Don’t take it down as soon as you get that much targeted traffic. Do a redesign after you make a shit-load of sales. Or maybe you should call me and I’ll charge you a small fortune to be on retainer so you don’t make dumb ass mistakes like that.

Sidebar: Sorry for the lack of Tea Time this week. Getting ready to board the plane home from SES NY and didn’t really get time. Instead of reading Tea Time, go make fun of David Wygant for being a retard.

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Anticipation Marketing

by TheMadHat on December 28, 2006

Let’s define what I call Anticipation Marketing. It’s essentially the build-up of a product from preannouncement to launch. Let me explain the concept with one of the masters of this method, F/X Networks, specifically with their launch of Dirt starring Courteney Cox.

This show was announced back in April with no date set for release (we now know the show starts in January). After the initial announcement of the show, commercials started running with a lot of frequency but they didn’t really give you an idea about what the show was about. They would just flash up the logo with a coming soon caption. This piqued the curiosity of the viewers. After several weeks of the vague logo commercial, they began to air one with a woman from the neck down carrying a camera. Now we have a little better idea about what the show is about but nothing definitive, but you’re interested. This format carries on throughout the winter with new versions that give us a little more each time. It’s like getting a little chocolate and wanting more.

What this does is keeps the viewers excited and wondering about the show and during the pre-launch stage. If you had seen the full fledged version of the commercial back in April, you might have been unimpressed and decided right then that you weren’t going to watch it. This method keeps your interest throughout until the network can air the show, and you’ll be hooked…assuming that it’s any good.

Taking this online can be difficult and there has not been anyone to do it well. It can be compared to viral marketing, but it isn’t quite the same thing. In most cases of viral marketing, you get the buzz going around a product or service but there isn’t really any buildup or anticipation going on here.

Microsoft made somewhat of an attempt with the launch of their Zune mp3 player, building a vague web site that created some buzz. The final execution was poorly done because nothing ever changed and they didn’t give people any reason to keep checking back, destroying any anticipation that existed.

There are countless “web 2.0” companies out there that have yet to launch their product and are making feeble attempts and building anticipation, but again none of them do it well. Here are some things to make Anticipation Marketing work:

1) Move from the standard one-time success model. The conversion metric for this campaign is return visitors and nothing else. You should be seeing a steady increase in return visits from start to finish.

2) Don’t give away the bank too quickly. If you do there will not be enough anticipation built up and your customers won’t give your product a full examination. This is especially true with new technologies or new ways of doing things. (I think Flock made this mistake)

3) Don’t drag it on forever. There is a point when the anticipation reaches critical mass. Reward the waiting customers then or it will be worse than moving too quickly. People will get frustrated with waiting, abandon you and probably won’t even look at what you’ve got.

4) Be creative. Blog posts that just say you’ve got a ‘cool new widget’ or ‘widget coming soon’ are not going to cut it. You need something attention grabbing that will make people anticipate the release.

5) Don’t be too vague. You can start vague, but make sure you keep giving away some candy or visitors won’t have any reason to return.

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The FTC Investigates Viral Marketing

by TheMadHat on December 14, 2006

An article from yesterdays Washington Post details an investigation into viral marketing. The basis of the story is “advocacy” groups are not happy with marketers using such methods to portray an unbiased opinion of their products and services.

As the practice has taken hold over the past several years, some advocacy groups have questioned whether marketers are using such tactics to dupe consumers into believing they are getting unbiased information.

What exactly are these advocacy groups advocating for anyway? There are some companies and individuals out there completely misleading the public with claims on what their products can do (get rich quick schemes come to mind first), but these have been and are allowed to continue to run without any outcry from advocacy groups. “As Seen On TV”…??? Yea right, are you kidding me? Companies run these ads because they work, however the laws in this area are so loose they can easily get away with it.

Let’s look at viral marketing compared to traditional marketing. With viral marketing, the majority of the time these ads don’t make any false or misleading assumptions and any individuals promoting it are normally not compensated. Certainly there is a natural pressure to speak positively about a product or company simply for being included (or for the free products), however this doesn’t seem as nearly as bad as some of the false advertising we see on a regular basis. Even with the free products the consumers are free to comment and portray the product however they like. In traditional advertising, the companies marketing department has complete control over the entire campaign, start to finish, and can say whatever they like. After the initial launch in word of mouth marketing the control lies with the consumer. When the consumers catch on, these campaigns can and certainly have backfired (Sony) or they can spread and show outstanding returns (Mentos, Dove). How many times have we heard that the online world is moving toward communities and social interaction with Web 2.0? Word of mouth marketing accomplishes this difficult feat.

Do advocacy groups need to be concentrating on the viral marketing phenomenon? Not yet in my opinion. This type of marketing will certainly proliferate and start to cross the line into a gray area, but it is a wonderful marketing tool that when done properly will be a useful tool in any companies marketing package. Advocacy groups should work on their bigger problems before attempting to tackle such a blurry concept as viral marketing.

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